Thunder, Traffic, and a Song for Danny

I pulled into the parking space sometime early this morning—drenched, exhausted, and honestly, a little delirious. My ears were still humming from the music, my clothes still damp from the Georgia storm, and the interstate still echoed in my bones. But as I sat there for a beat before cutting the engine, I felt something else too: peace. The kind that only comes after a long, winding journey that somehow lands exactly where it needed to.

The day had started in typical Matt fashion—rushed, overcommitted, a little chaotic, and filled with more love than logistics should allow. I picked up my best friend, then we swung down to Dalton to meet Cade’s friend. Cade isn’t my nephew by blood, but I’ve been Uncle Matt to him since the day he was born. I was there at the hospital, holding him in his first hours on this earth—the son of my best friends, Danny (my brother from another mother) and his bride Cassie, a bond sealed long before either of us had kids in mind. Cade, in true Danny fashion, was on a mission trip and was waiting south of Atlanta. So we took off to go get him.

Danny never made it to see Cade turn 17. Cancer—CML—took him too soon. He and I had always said we’d see Dave Matthews Band together someday. It was a shared soundtrack—the music that got us through long nights, big questions, and road trips that didn’t need a destination. We never got that concert. But last night, I went with Cade—his son—along with Cade’s stepdad—a good man who stepped into big shoes with kindness—and Cade’s buddy. It wasn’t the original plan, but somehow it felt even more right.

Getting there wasn’t easy. Atlanta traffic was Atlanta traffic—on steroids. What should’ve been a few hours turned into a tangled maze of brake lights and exit ramps. After the show, we retraced those same miles in reverse: south to drop off Cade, north again to get everyone else home. Somewhere in there, the heavens opened up.

The rain came sideways—the kind that feels biblical—with lightning cracking the sky like punctuation. As if nature itself had something to say.

And yet… in the middle of all that chaos, we stood under the Georgia sky—soaked, smiling, swaying to a setlist that felt like it had been chosen just for us.

Granted, Cade and I did get into a friendly fuss—he insists Dave Matthews Band isn’t a jam band. I reminded him—with evidence—that some of their live versions could legally qualify as time zones. We agreed to disagree, mostly. Even if some of our favorite songs didn’t make the setlist, it was hard to argue with the ones that did.

I looked over at Cade, tall now and almost grown, and I swear I saw Danny there too. Not in a ghostly way. More like the way Cade sang certain lyrics. The way he laughed at something I said. The way he just was.

Meanwhile, the three people directly in front of us spent most of the show harvesting crops on their phones. Farmville. In 2025. At a Dave Matthews Band concert. I don’t know what they were growing, but I hope it was worth missing “Dive In” or “Captain.” Judging by their sudden attention, the only songs they came for were “Ants Marching” and “Crash Into Me.”

I thought about how much Danny would’ve loved this night. Not just the band, but seeing his son out in the world—living, laughing, feeling joy. I thought about how music carries memory—how certain chords and lyrics can hold grief and gratitude in the same breath.

And maybe that’s what last night really was: a way of keeping a promise I never got to say out loud. A way of saying, “You’re not forgotten. We still carry you—with every song, every laugh, every long drive through thunder and rain.”

It wasn’t easy getting there. It wasn’t convenient. But love rarely is.

Sometimes it looks like five hours of traffic and a tank full of gas. Sometimes it sounds like a guitar riff breaking through the storm. And sometimes—if you’re lucky—it feels like standing in a crowd with a seventeen-year-old boy whose dad should’ve been there… but somehow was.

Welcome to The Quiet Middle

I’m glad you’re here.

This space was born from a mix of things: years of lived experience, deep conversations, quiet battles, and a need to write things down when the noise got too loud.

You won’t find clickbait headlines or firestorms here. Just honest reflections—on life, teaching, healing, faith, civility, and the way the world sometimes cracks open a little deeper than we expected. I’m a father, a future educator, a cancer survivor, and someone trying to keep his heart open in a time when it’d be easy to shut down.

Maybe you’ll see something of yourself in these words. Maybe not. But if you’re looking for thoughtful conversation, held with care and without shouting—you’re in the right place.

Let’s see where this goes.

—Matt

My Story

This piece was originally posted on Facebook on Monday, June 16, 2025. I added it to my new blog at a later date.

For the past five years, I have considered June 16th as D-Day. No, not the D-Day remembered for June 6th, when the Normandy landings occurred during World War II—but my own diagnosis day. I choose to share my story for several reasons.

I don’t share this to draw attention to myself. I share it to raise awareness about the importance of seeking medical attention. Please—take any medical concern seriously. Maybe it turns out to be nothing, and all you’ve lost is an hour at the doctor’s office. But what if it’s something serious, and they catch it early? Don’t leave anything—big or small—unchecked when it comes to your health.

I also want to commend the incredible team at Emory Hospital. I strongly recommend them to anyone seeking care or a second opinion. The doctors, nurses, and staff do yeoman’s work—and I’m living proof of their excellence.

And finally, I share this to encourage you to seek mental health support if you need it. Don’t be ashamed. Don’t hesitate to reach out for a counselor, therapist, or medication. Why live in misery—or under a cloud of anxiety—when help is available? If the first person or medication isn’t a good fit, try another. Just don’t give up. At the very least, connect with a friend. Please call me if you need someone to talk to or even vent to. I am always available: 706-639-3001. Now, here is my story.

My Cancer Journey — June 16, 2020

2020 was a challenging year for many. The global pandemic had a profound impact across the world. But for me, it was also the year that transformed my life—in a very different way.

In late March, I began having what I assumed was an abscessed tooth. Like many, I disliked going to the dentist and figured I’d be fine. Plus, dental offices were closed due to COVID. I had a telehealth visit and was prescribed an antibiotic. But weeks passed, and my condition didn’t improve. I should’ve gone to the ER. But I thought I was tough—I had a high pain tolerance—so I didn’t.

After what felt like forever, things began to reopen in May. I finally got in to see a dentist. After reviewing X-rays, the dentist noticed something concerning and referred me to an oral surgeon that same day. Several visits later, my condition continued to worsen. I was eventually referred to an ENT specialist.

On June 11, 2020, I met with Dr. Hunt. He ordered a CT scan, followed by a PET scan. Then, on Tuesday, June 16, after a biopsy, I received the official diagnosis: head and neck cancer.

Because of the tumor’s size and its location at the base of my mouth, Dr. Hunt recommended either Emory in Atlanta or Vanderbilt in Nashville. I chose Emory—it was closer. My first appointment at Emory Midtown was Tuesday, July 14th—a date I won’t forget because it’s my younger sister’s birthday.

Due to COVID, I was unable to have anyone accompany me. My wife and mom waited at a nearby hotel while I spent the day undergoing scans and consulting with surgeons and oncologists. Late that afternoon, my surgeon told me the news I’ll never forget: it was a very advanced, aggressive form of cancer. The tumor was roughly 5 cm. Without surgery, I had about eight months to live.

I faced that moment alone, aside from a FaceTime call with my wife and mom. The surgeon explained that the upcoming surgery would be life-changing.

The next day, I returned home. On the way back, I got a call—my surgery was scheduled for Wednesday, July 29. Dr. Kaka, my surgeon, even postponed his family vacation to perform it.

On July 27, I returned to Emory for pre-op labs. My potassium and magnesium were dangerously low. They admitted me early through the ER. On the morning of July 29, the surgery was nearly canceled due to staffing shortages. But Dr. Kaka advocated for me. After a delay, the surgery moved forward.

It lasted nearly eight hours. They removed the tumor, but I lost my lower lip and all lower teeth. Bone from my left leg was used to rebuild my jaw. A skin graft was taken from my thigh. Later, I learned they got clear margins, and only 5–6 out of over 50 lymph nodes showed cancer.

I spent two days in the ICU before being transferred to a regular room. The hardest part? Being without my family. We FaceTimed, but I couldn’t speak. On July 31, I had a PEG tube placed—which I still use today. From November 2019 to July 2020, I lost about 50 pounds. I was discharged on Thursday, August 6—my grandmother’s birthday.

In follow-up visits, everything pointed to a successful surgery. I didn’t need chemo, but I did undergo 32 rounds of radiation from September to October 2020 at the Amos Cancer Center in my hometown. I stayed with my mom during treatment—she was incredible. My sister and her husband also supported me; they were amazing. Back home, my wife kept everything running and cared for our two daughters—Julie, who was 7 then (now 12), and Caroline, who was 3 (now 8).

Today, I’m considered NED—No Evidence of Disease. During one follow-up, I learned that my case was presented at a national medical conference. Some doctors told my surgeon they might not have attempted the operation due to its complexity. I’m forever grateful that he did. And now, just four months from now—if nothing returns—I’ll be considered cancer-free. Not bad for someone given a 50/50 chance to live five years, even with successful surgery.

The journey hasn’t been easy. 2024 was my hardest year yet, battling anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I still can’t eat by mouth—even after swallow therapy. Though I don’t aspirate, I still can’t manage it. In December 2024, a scan suggested recurrence in the upper paratracheal lymph nodes. A January biopsy proved it was not cancer—but the fear stuck with me.

I still don’t know what caused my cancer. I’ve never smoked, used tobacco, or drank much alcohol. It wasn’t HPV-related either. That mystery—and the chance of recurrence—still lingers. But in 2025, I made a decision: I wasn’t going to let fear steal my peace. With therapy, medication, and support, I’ve reached a better place. I no longer need weekly sessions. And I’m about to finish my Master’s degree this fall after completing student teaching. My goal? To teach middle or high school social studies or history.

Cancer has shaped my life. In 2014, I lost my best friend—more like family—to chronic myeloid leukemia (CML). I’ve often asked why God chose me to survive when others didn’t. Cancer has taken so much, but it’s also given back. I’ve made new friends, deepened old connections, and grown in gratitude for the people around me.

Thank you for reading my story.

What It Means to Speak Truth With Civility

Tuesday, June 17, 2025

This was originally posted on Facebook and later added to my blog.

I’m not someone who yells to make a point. I don’t see the value in shaming people into agreement. But I do believe in being honest about what I see—especially when it feels like the noise around us is drowning out the truth.

I live in Northwest Georgia. A lot of folks around here support Donald Trump. I know and love many of them. And still, I feel deeply troubled by what the Trump era has done to our country—the constant us-versus-them tone, the erosion of empathy, the vilifying of anyone who dares to disagree.

That kind of rhetoric doesn’t just stay in Washington or on cable news; it appears in school board meetings, county politics, and how we communicate with each other in the grocery store, in the comments section of a Facebook post, and certainly on social media—where people frequently express things they’d never say face-to-face. I’ve seen longtime friends clash online like adversaries. There’s something about being behind a screen that seems to strip away empathy, and that matters. When the volume of our politics increases, the volume of our humanity often decreases.


I’ve had a front-row seat to what really matters in life. In 2020, I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. I was told I might have just eight months to live without surgery. Everything changed. I lost my lower lip and jaw. I still can’t eat by mouth. But I’m here. And I’ve learned that when you’re facing something that raw and real, politics don’t matter the way they once did. What matters is who shows up. Who brings peace into the room instead of more fire.

That experience gave me a clarity I didn’t expect. I don’t have time for hate, and I’m not interested in pretending that silence equals peace either. You can speak up without tearing others down. You can stand for something without shouting over everyone else in the room.

Civility isn’t weakness. It’s being steady when the world wants you to scream. It’s listening for the sake of understanding, not just to reload your argument. It’s choosing to believe that dignity still belongs in public conversation—even if fewer people seem to practice it.

This is the world I want my daughters to grow up in. It’s the kind of classroom I hope to lead soon, as I finish my degree and begin student teaching. I want my students to know: you don’t have to agree with everyone. However, you must respect that their story is just as sacred as yours.

That’s why I’m writing. Not because I think I’ve got it all figured out. But because I still believe that calm voices can carry. And maybe, just maybe, help others feel brave enough to speak truth with kindness too.

Take Care, 

Matt